


Big shoes to fill

by Gigis



Category: Irondad - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers Endgame, Avengers spoiler, Endgame, Grief/Mourning, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, canon complaint, endgame canon compliant, endgame spoilers, spoiler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-04 12:35:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18604639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigis/pseuds/Gigis
Summary: 5 + 1 post Endgame (canon compliant)Summary inside to avoid spoilers





	1. Under different circumstances

**Author's Note:**

> 5 times Peter tried to fill Tony's shoes + 1 time Morgan asked him to

Peter stood in front of the mirror in his room, trying for the hundredth time to tie the tie around his neck. He tried to avoid the voice in the back of his mind It’s not that difficult, kid. It was complicated enough, thank you very much, without the memory of his mentor’s voice teaching him how to do it. The thing is, this was the third time he was standing in front of a mirror; eyes red and watery, tear-stained cheeks and hiccups as a result of his sobbing. And yet he had never learned how to tie his tie. 

Ben had tied it for him the first time, as he himself tried to hide his own tears at the loss of his brother. As he tried to explain to a kid that his parents were not coming back. Peter hadn’t understood how permanent it was or why everyone around him stared with pity in their eyes and whispered “I’m sorry”s. What were they sorry for? Peter hadn’t understood. And Ben only said that sometimes people are taken from us, far too soon. And those around us try to make it better, by allowing us to feel sad. Peter thought that was one of those explanations adults gave when they didn’t know what to say. But before he could say anything Ben had finished adjusting his tie and was giving him a watery smile, so Peter didn’t tell him what he thought. 

The second time it had been a police officer that used to work with Ben. Officer Connor Peter thinks, although he is not so sure. He had been getting ready to go say goodbye to Ben when he realized he had no one to tie his tie. May was a wreck although she tried to put on a brave face, but even if she wanted to, she didn't know how to tie it for him. So he had put it in his pocket, hoped he would find someone at the church to teach him how to do it. Office Connor was Ben’s partner and when he approached May and Peter with that pity in his eyes that Peter had seen many times before, he pulled his tie out of his pocket and quietly asked, Would you tie this Officer? I just don't know how. And he had said yes, quickly complied and then left before Peter could even say thank you. 

Peter spent a long time trying to find someone to teach him how to tie a tie. May had tried to learn with him for his homecoming dance but it ended up being sloppy and careless. He had felt since he lost his parents like he was missing something. Like there were big empty shoes next to him that no one dared step into and try to fill. And in came Mr. Stark. He had kicked aside the metaphorical shoes, had made a footprint of his own right in the middle of Peter’s heart. And when Peter had to put on a tie for his Decathlon competition he had asked Mr. Stark if he could teach him. And Mr. Stark had said yes and had given him a quick tutorial that only someone that had been tying ties since he could walk would be able to give. And still Peter felt frustrated for he couldn’t do it. He tried over and over, Mr. Stark’s patience running thin. Until Mr. Stark had said “No one is gonna care if you wear a tie, kid. Just impress them with your big big brain”. And Peter’s tie had been left behind lying on his bed back at the compound. His team had won regardless and Mr. Stark had been proud.

So, now. It was his third time in front of a mirror like this one. Putting on a suit to go say goodbye to someone, whose shoes he was sure would never be filled. And he couldn't tie a tie. He had never learned how and now there truly was no one left to teach him. So he left the tie behind. Got in the car with May in the back, holding his hand. Happy at the front, trying very hard to hide his own red eyes. And silently the car started, they were on their way, tieless but with a knot in his throat tight enough to suffocate him. 

——————————————————————————————————————

The service was quick. There was no religious ceremony, just some of Mr. Stark’s closest friends, his family and his former co-workers. Although Peter was not entirely sure to which category he belonged, he knew there were many feeling the same way. Pepper said a few words, keeping her composure through the whole ordeal. Peter, however, did not pay attention to a word she said. He tried, but next to her, holding her hand was a little girl. She had brown hair and big brown eyes. She was wearing a black dress and a blank expression on her face as she focused all her attention on the lake that sat by her house. 

Morgan. Happy had told him. She was four. Peter did not fully comprehend what had happened, he didn’t have any time to process it but from what they had tried to explain to him and the others, they had been gone for five years. Mr. Stark had gotten married, he had had a child and now, he was gone. And Peter simply did not know where that left him. Looking at the only person that maybe understood what he was feeling. He watched Morgan and saw himself saying goodbye to his own parents. He watched Morgan and he saw what could have been. If he hadn’t taken 5 years too long. 

After the ceremony some people left. Some stayed behind. May had insisted on helping Pepper clean up; and they needed a ride from Happy anyway, and he looked far too interested in the conversation he was having in the porch with Morgan. Peter just stared at them and he didn’t know what to do. He looked to the lake and saw Wanda and Hawkeye talking, he didn’t really know them so he didn’t want to impose. He realized that the only person he had known at these events, the person that would be talking to him right now, making him feel like he was worthy of being a part of this group, was Mr. Stark. And that just made the knot tighten even more. 

“You know, we never really talked about it-“ Peter turned around from where he was standing lamely on the lawn and looked as Steve Rogers approached him “-but I’m sure he would have wanted you two to meet” He nodded at someone and he turned around, realized he was pointing at Morgan. 

——————————————————————————————————————

He saw from the distance as Happy got called inside, probably by Pepper and as Morgan slowly got up, looked around her and started walking decidedly in one direction. Peter watched as she got inside a small dog house and before he could think about it, he was already following her steps. He sat on a small chair located by the dog house and softly knocked. 

“Hello? Is anyone there?” Peter’s heart was pounding. He didn’t know what to say, how to talk to her, if she would even care about who he was.  
A small head poked from the curtains. She eyed him curiously and slowly stepped out. She stayed silent for a moment. Studying his face with a frown until suddenly her face lit up like she had just realized something.  
“Hey you look like the boy in the pictures”. She told him in an excited voice as if she had just solved the world biggest mystery.  
“Umm, I don’t really know what you are talking about.“ Peter started slowly. Trying to understand what she had meant without making her feel questioned. “You are the boy in the pictures daddy has in his office-” Morgan explained. Understanding began to clear Peter’s head. “- There is also one in the kitchen and in mommy and daddy’s bedroom.”. 

Peter’s heart broke at the idea of Mr. Stark having framed pictures of them lying around his house. “That’s right. I’m Peter. Peter Parker. I used to work with you dad in the lab.” “- Daddy didn’t say you worked together, he used to say you were his kid” Peter’s breath hitched in his throat. “Does that mean you are my brother?” She asked with a frown on her face. Like she was squinting her eyes at the sun trying to get it to make sense.  
Peter answered slowly. “It means that I loved your daddy very much. He was almost like a play-pretend daddy, but I once had a dad of my own.”  
Morgan looked down at her feet. “Oh. Do you not love my daddy anymore?-“ She asked with tears welling up in her eyes. “- Is that why you are not my brother?”. Peter felt terrible and yet he didn’t know enough about kids to know what he had done wrong. I loved your daddy. Loved. Realization hit Peter’s face. “Nonnononono. Morgan, that’s- that’s not what I meant-“ Peter stuttered out nervously. “I still love your dad. I always will. But I had another dad before him.”  
“And where is he?” Morgan looked at him and suddenly it dawned on him. How similar she was to himself when he lost his own parents. Morgan didn’t understand that her father was not coming back. She was convinced she still had one. And she did, just not physically there. Or so Peter liked to believe.  
And for the first time Peter looked at Morgan and saw a little girl. Who was anything but alone and still, she had her own pair of empty shoes standing next to her. Peter did not know how to be a father. After all he was just a kid himself. But he sadly knew everything there was to know about loss, and he couldn’t be a father to Morgan. He would never fill those shoes. But maybe, sometimes, he could try them on. Walk around on them for a bit, just so that Morgan didn’t have to look to her side and see empty shoes. 

He stepped up and put the shoes on. They were too big for him, impossible to fill and yet he searched within himself, looked Morgan in the eye and started talking.  
“Well, you see, when I was younger my parents had an accident. It was really bad and now they are gone. I can’t see them but I like to believe that they are looking out for me, wherever they are-“ Morgan was giving him all of her attention. “- And so is… so is your dad. He is gone now and that is a little bit sad. And it is okay to be sad. Just remember that you don’t have to be sad alone. And he is always going to be looking after you. We all will”.  
Morgan nodded slowly. Understating far more than he did when it was him, she blinked slowly and a single tear rolled down her cheek. Peter wiped it away. She looked back at him and smiled. “Thank you Peter. Daddy was right, you are reeeeeeeally smart”. 

Peter chuckled through his own tears. He put his arm around Morgan and they stayed like that for a while. Looking at the lake, seeing Mr. Starks’s arc reactor floating in the middle of a bouquet of flowers. Peter really didn’t know what that was called. And he thought, Mr. Stark would have known. And he wouldn’t have made fun of Peter for asking. And he would have had a much better response for Morgan even though, if he was here, she wouldn’t need one. But he would never ask him. She would never get to either. And that was okay. As he sat there with Morgan he knew that the pair of shoes that sat beside Morgan was nearly impossible to fill. After all, Peter didn’t know how to be a father. But he would put all his energy into learning how to be a big brother and, in doing so, how to make the shoes a little bit more welcoming.


	2. Bedtime stories

The visits to the cabin became routine. Every Friday afternoon, the same day he would spend working in the lab with Tony _before,_ Peter would get in a car with Happy and together they would make the short drive to Tony’s family, to _their_ family. He sat in the front now, partly because there was no one to keep him company if he sat in the back and partly because it just felt right. Happy had been spending a lot of time in his apartment, hanging out with May while he patrolled and staying for dinner when he came back, exhausted and sometimes hurt.

 

Happy would nag him when he came back late or with bruises. He would stand in front of him with heavy shoulders and sad eyes and would tell him to _be careful, Pete._ Peter would ensure him that he was being careful and Happy would start ranting about how he should not be putting himself in danger in the first place and how if something was too much for him, he should know when to quit.

 

Overtime Peter learned to accept this, to answer with a short _okay, sorry_ . But the first few times this had happened, and even after all this time if it happened after a hard mission that had Peter wishing he could just call Iron Man for help to realize quickly that he couldn't, Peter would look at Happy and would only see a person trying to step into shoes that didn't belong to him. That were sometimes too big. And Peter would get upset, would get tears in his eyes and would start yelling. “ Stop it, Happy. I messed up, okay? I know-” the tears would fall uncontrollably as Peter gave a similar speech every time “- I don't need you to look after me. I can look after myself”. And Happy would approach him with sad eyes and would try to hug him and Peter would try to fight it, would struggle against his hold whispering “ You are not him, not- not Tony” Happy would sigh, hug him tighter “I know kid. But I'm here, whether you want me to or not”. Peter would stop fighting and would hug him back.

 

Needless to say, the Happy-and-Peter dynamic had changed. And it never showed more than when the both of them were stuck in a car together, for a couple of hours, every Friday afternoon. They would talk about school and the Decathlon team. They would talk about aunt May and her horrible cooking. Peter had seen Happy blush every time he mentioned her so he thought he might share something similar with him and told him about MJ. He had never told anyone what he felt about her before. And maybe that was okay, something for Happy and Peter to share. Happy would play the radio, he liked listening to the news and Peter would groan and put on his own playlist. One that he knew they would both enjoy for entirely different reasons; Black Sabbath, Aerosmith and even Kiss would start playing and they would both smile, both sat in silence listening, hoping that if they tried hard enough they would hear that familiar voice singing along off-key. They never did.

 

And they would talk about Morgan. Morgan and Pepper. Morgan and school. Morgan and how she was like Tony, Morgan and how she wasn't. They would talk about what she liked, what she knew, how smart she was. And their eyes would swell with pride. And they would park in front of the lake house and a girl, tall for a 7 year old would come running out.

“¡Uncle Happy! ¡Peter! Mommy is making lasagna” She screamed excitedly and hugged both of them tightly. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Dinner had been anything but quiet. With Morgan asking Peter questions about Spiderman and school and Pepper inquiring about college and his ideas for the future, he had barely gotten to eat a bite before Pepper and Happy were picking up the plates and Morgan was pulling Peter to her room to show him her new toys.

 

They sat on the floor of her room for a while, playing with legos, building towers and castles. Morgan was focused on making a replica of her house, Peter was supposed to be making the small dog house she used to play in but he was too focused on her. He watched her build and saw Tony. He saw him in the way her brows furrowed when something didn't feel right, in the way she had no problem starting all over again if she saw that it wasn’t working out, and suddenly for a minute he heard him speak to him. “Pete? Hellooo-” She waved a hand in front of his eyes, “-are you there?” She asked quietly, placing her small hand on his cheek. And he just wanted to cry.

It had been two years since the world had lost Tony. And yet sometimes Peter saw someone make a certain gesture, or smelled something that reminded him of the lab or even said something that sounded _so much_ like something Tony would say and he just felt the knot in his throat again.

He looked right into Morgan’s eyes and saw Tony looking back at him. With worry and compassion and a hint of understanding. But it wasn't Tony, it was Morgan. So he swallowed back his tears, put on a smile and said “Yeah sorry, just tired I guess. It’s been a long day”. Morgan nodded slowly, and yawned in a way that was so obviously fake that Peter had to stifle a laugh. “I’m tired too-” She started getting up “-maybe we should go to bed”.

Morgan didn't wait for him to answer, she was already wearing her Captain Marvel pajamas so she just jumped straight into bed. “Bye, Mor” Peter got closer to her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning”.

He was about to turn off the light and leave when suddenly “WAIT!” Peter stopped startled and looked at her “Would you tell me a bedtime story?” Peter slowly approached the bookcase by her window. “Um.. sure-” He started browsing the titles “-which one?” “I don't want one from the bookcase, silly” She giggled “ _You_ tell me one”

He sat next to her in bed. “Okay, well...” Peter started thinking and nothing came to mind. But then he saw the picture she had of her as a baby, Tony holding her in his arms with a watery smile and he knew what to tell her. “How about the story of how your daddy saved New York?” He asked with excitement, Morgan nodded but then, “I thought you said he saved the universe”. Peter chuckled, “Yeah, he did that too. But first, New York City” And on he went, talking about aliens and Captain America and the Hulk and Tony flying a weapon through a hole in the sky and people cheering for him because he was a hero.

He finished the story quietly, a few minutes later. Morgan had fallen asleep sometime between the avengers capturing Loki and them going to eat shawarma. He got up slowly and left the room.

He closed the door trying very hard not to make a noise and headed to the kitchen for something to drink. He was met with Pepper in her own pajamas drinking tea. As she saw him approach she started getting up, probably to head to Morgan’s room to tell her it was time to go to bed. “ She is asleep” Peter told her, and he didn't miss the surprise that appeared in Pepper’s eyes.

“Is she?” She started and with a sigh “Thank god”. That sparked his curiosity, he opened the fridge and got himself some milk as he asked “Does she not sleep well? Or what’s the problem?”. Pepper looked to the direction of Morgan’s room, maybe to make sure she wasn't listening. “She has been trouble going to bed since Tony- Well, since he died”. They didn't use the d-word, ever. Peter knew therapists would say that recognizing the fact for what it was, especially in front of Morgan would make it more natural and would help them move on. But Peter just couldn't do it, apparently Pepper continued to be stronger than all of them combined. “- Bedtime used to be their thing, you know? He would tuck her in and tell her stories. About Captain America and Thor, about War Machine, about _you-” “-me?_ ” “ Oh yeah, Spiderman was a big bedtime favorite, Peter Parked was even more popular” She smiled at him and continued “Since Tony died she hates bedtime, her therapist thinks that Morgan feels like she is betraying her father’s memory by sharing that moment with someone else. Someone.. someone who does not belong in that”. “ Oh, I- I’m sorry” Peter suddenly felt out of place. “Sorry for what, honey?” “She um- She asked me to tell her a story. And I told her about the avengers and about Tony. About New York” He added quickly. “And she fell asleep, I didn't want to impose”.He looked down at his shoes, a bad habit that showed up when he was embarrassed or scared of other people’s reactions to him. A habit Tony had been trying and succeeding to kill since they met. Pepper approached him quietly and placed her hands on his shoulders.

“Well-” Pepper started “- Tony did always use to say that Morgan would only share her story time with her big brother” Peter looked up at her with shock on his face. “Amazing how he is always right, huh?”

“Yeah..” Peter smiled to himself, heart pounding and he felt that soft voice that he had gotten used to looking for the past two years. _You are doing great, Pete. Just great._


	3. Keep this between us

MIT was everything Peter could have wished for. Being surrounded by like-minded people, full of fun challenges and new experiences. He knew he was lucky to be there but he also thought that the fact that Tony was such a big part of why he was there made it even better. Tony who had been talking to him about MIT since he was just 15, who had written countless reports on Peter’s work for Stark Industries which ultimately were allowed as a replacement for a letter of recommendation that Peter was sure Tony would have loved to write and simply couldn't. Tony who had set up a college fund for him to use and who had left him all of his MIT memorabilia on his will. Sure, MIT was great because it was challenging and it was fun, exciting and new. But it was _home_ because it was Tony. Because he looked around campus and saw every story his mentor had told him coming to life before his eyes. Because there was nothing he loved more than when his professors would call the roll and make a slight pause when they reached his name.

“Peter Parker?” And Peter would just raise his hand, maybe shout a timid _here_ and then the professor would look up curiously and ask the following question, always the same following question “Tony Stark’s Peter Parker?” And his eyes would just fill with pride. He would nod with his head held high.

The responses always varied, some just nodded and carried on, others wanted to know what Tony had been like. If the man lived up to the legend. Students would be intrigued. What was it like to work for the man who saved the universe? Was he strict? Was he weird? Was he kind? And Peter would just say that _Yeah, he was_ because he could never find it within himself to tell them that he was all that and so much _more._

He was loving and caring. He would complain about his choice in music but sing along quietly to himself. He would drink his coffee black when he was working but he would take it with milk and sugar when he was feeling low. But he didn't share that information. Ever, with anyone. Because the world had known everything about Iron Man and about the sacrifice he had made. They knew about Stark Industries and their inventions. They knew a lot about Pepper Potts, the woman who had stood next to the legend and had been powerful enough to humble him. They knew far too much, in Peter’s opinion, about Morgan. What she looked like, where she went to school and even her grades.And even after a few months of mourning Iron Man, the people had learned about Peter Parker. The child prodigy, the special intern who had impressed the genius with his own brain.

And yet, the people knew almost nothing about Tony Stark. They knew about his indiscretions in the past, about his fake egocentrism and old playboy attitudes. But they didn't know Tony. Not like Peter did. He wanted to make sure that they never would. Iron Man had died so the world could live, but Peter was determined to keep Tony alive in his memory, and far from spying eyes.

 

It was Thursday afternoon and he was sitting in class, working on a project on his computer when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 _“Are you coming to stay at the cabin this weekend?”_ \- Pepper

He read the text quickly and thought about the exam he had on Monday and how he had told Ned that they could watch that new movie together Saturday night. He replied quickly.

_“I wasn't planning on it but I can go if you need me to”_

_“You don't have to, but Morgan is having a hard time with a project and I think she could use your help”_ Peter didn't need to read past Morgan’s name to know he was going. No matter where he was, no matter the circumstances, Tony had always made time to be there for Peter. And he had made avow almost 8 years ago, when Morgan was only a 4 year old coming to terms with her father’s death (yeah, he was 23 now and he could finally refer to Tony’s death for what it was), had promised to always be there to stand beside her if she ever needed his help.

 _“ No problem, I’ll be there tomorrow around 5 pm”._ And that was that.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Peter was used to making the long drive from MIT to the cabin alone. He would listen to the radio, maybe some soft music. He would think about everything and nothing and, before he knew it, he was pulling up in front of the house. He had gotten used to Morgan running out the minute the car touched the gravel which is why he was so surprised when he shut the car’s door and had to walk all the way to the door, open it quietly and step into the kitchen before Pepper turned around.

“Peter, honey!” Pepper smiled at him in a way that Peter could not describe, it felt like summer. “ It’s so nice to see you” She came up to him and hugged him. He dropped his overnight bag and hugged her back.

“Hey, Pepper” He pulled away softly, allowing her to hold his face in her hands for a few extra seconds. “It’s nice to be home”.

Pepper had smiled at that, he knew she loved it when he referred to the cabin as home. It had meant so much for her to have him accept that he was still part of the Stark family with or without Tony.

“Morgan is in her room, she’s been working on a project but I think she might need your help. She refuses to come out-” Peter could see that Pepper was worried; her brows were furrowed and she would constantly look up the stairs in hope that a certain girl would come down.

“Sure, what is it?” Peter asked, not really paying attention, taking the books he had brought over to study out of his bag. “-physics, math, biology? I can do a little bit of computer science but I think she might prefer Ned for that-”

“It’s English” Pepper had cut him off. “She has to write an essay. On her...well on her parents”

Peter’s heart skipped a beat. Pepper continued “ They are working on the theme of identity and the teacher thought it would be a good idea to ask them to write about who their parents _are._ She wrote a bit about Iron Man. From stories she read on the newspaper and saw on TV. But she gave up yesterday, said she couldn't do it and went up to her room.”

Peter didn't know what to say. He knew how hard it was on Morgan that she had lost her dad so young. She barely even had real memories with him, besides what people told her about him. And even then, so many stories were about Iron Man. Few were about Tony and, the ones that were, often came from Pepper or Happy or Rhodey. Morgan couldn't know what Tony was like as a father, because Peter had been selfish and had kept it all to himself.

He knew then and there what he had to do. “I’m on it, Pepper” he shouted behind his shoulder as he ran up the stairs. He knocked softly on Morgan’s door and when he failed to get an answer he said through the door. “Mor, it’s me. Peter. Can I come in?”.

The door opened immediately but rather than being greeted by a hug he only saw as Morgan got back in bed. Her eyes red rimmed and her cheeks tear stained. Peter never wanted to see his 12 year old sister suffer like that.

“Why the teary eyes?” Peter asked softly as he sat at the foot of her bed. He looked over at her with a kind smile.   
“I’m going to fail English” Morgan said in a sunken voice. “ Because my stupid father couldn't stay alive for longer than five years so that I could have something to remember him by”.

Peter didn't miss the angry tone in her voice. Or the way it cracked near the end of the sentence. He certainly wished he could miss how his own heartbeat sped up at hearing Morgan talk about Tony like that.

“Well, your dad was anything but stupid” Peter started slowly, trying hard to get his point across without antagonizing Morgan “ Actually, scratch that. He also wasn't mean or selfish or so many other things.” Morgan looked back at him with empty eyes. And Peter’s heart just broke.

“I’m sorry, Morgan” he whispered. And he could see out of the corner of his eyes how she eyed him curiously.

“Sorry for what?” She answered quickly “You didn't kill him, Pete.”

And Peter chuckled. Because he knew that answer so well. Knew that she used it every time someone apologized for her not having a father. Knew that she wore it like her own suit of armor, her defense against the stupid way in which people tried to make her tragedy their own by daring to _apologize_ for something they had had no control over.

But Peter was not apologizing for Tony’s death. He was apologizing for keeping him dead in Morgan’s memory. And so he told her as much.   
“ I know I didn't. But I knew your dad.” He swallowed back the tightness in his throat as he continued. “ You know, he was almost like a dad to me too. That’s why you are my sister” Morgan nodded, she knew that. Knew since she met Peter that they weren't biologically related, that they were sibling bound together by sheer force of will, by heart and sadly, by the loss of someone they would try forever to find in the other person. “And I’m sorry because I spent so much time with him, maybe less years than you, but few years that I will always remember”

Morgan looked like she wanted to interrupt him but Peter powered through “ There is so much about him that you don't know, because you don't remember or you were too young to realize. And I- I should have told you this a long time ago. But I thought that, by keeping it to myself I was keeping his memory safer. More alive because it would not be tainted by what others could hear. But you are not just any _other_ and there is no one I would trust more with this than you.” He looked over at her, trying to see any sign of how she was feeling. And she had tears welling up in her eyes. But she just nodded and sat up straight. So Peter took a deep breath and started talking. Started remembering everything he could. Every little detail that he could find deep in his subconscious.

“ People will tell you he was short. And he was, but not as much as you’d think. Maybe 5’9 but he had such a great posture, Mor. He walked like he was 6’2” Morgan chuckled at that, wiping away the tears. “And he was such a pain about my posture too. Always going on _Peter sit up straight_ and _I swear, kid, your posture gives me nightmares_ as I slouched over my work bench at the lab.”

“He didn't like chocolate. Not too much anyway. Just enough that he would eat it in a cake or if someone bought it for him as a gift but he would always prefer blueberries. Sometimes baby carrots.” Peter smiled fondly at the memory of them tossing bags of snacks to each other as they brainstormed. “ And he absolutely hated silence. I swear he would complain about me talking too much but would immediately start asking questions if I ever shut up.”

“ And he was so observant. He would look at me in the eye and tell if I had a good day at school. It was impossible to lie to him, he would always know . Or maybe I am just a bad liar. Oh! And he was so good with history. Like he helped me out with math and physics, sure. But he knew so many weird facts about historic events.”

Morgan was paying so much attention to him and Peter felt like once he had started he would never stop.

“ He had a great memory. He would remember facts about me and things I had barely even mentioned, months after we had talked about that. And he would just know when something was bothering you. He always knew just what to say. Sure, sometimes he was a little bit reliant on the tough love approach but he knew just the time to give hugs and ruffle my hair.”

“He would sit through hours of nerdy sci-fi movies just because he knew that I liked them. And he would pay attention to them, too. When the movie was over he would ask questions and try to figure out if any of that was actually possible. However, he really liked black and white movies. Chaplin and that sort of thing. And he sometimes enjoyed those stupid comedies that no one finds funny. He didn't force me to watch with him but he always invited me to.”

“ In the car he liked to listen to classical music and sometimes Frank Sinatra. But he mostly just enjoyed driving. He loved it. Taught me how to drive, he was very patient. When he was working in the lab, tho, he really liked heavy metal. And, he would never have admitted it but he liked when I played broadway musicals’ soundtracks.”

"He would never wear formal clothing when he was home, always jeans and a t-shirt. Usually from a band. And he would wear sunglasses even inside but mostly to hide his feelings, in front of the press or people he didn't fully trust. He would never admit it but sometimes he would wear them just for the dramatic effect of taking them off when someone said something stupid."

"And he wore perfume. One that was really fancy and crazy expensive. But even if you found it, it wouldn't smell like him. He smelt like that perfume mixed with coffee beans and oil. I once told him he smelt like electricity and he said it was because of the Arc Reactor and how it sometimes would short-circuit and fail." 

Morgan was full- on smiling now. And so was Peter. He knew he was almost done. After all, there wasn't much he could think of right on the spot and he knew he could tell her if he remembered anything during the weekend. But there was one thing he thought was important that Morgan knew.

“ And he um- he would talk about you” Morgan looked at him with wide eyes. “ Not you specifically because you didn't exist yet. But he always used to tell me that he would love to have a baby with Pepper. He didn't want to make me feel bad so he always reminded me that he would always think of me as his kid. But he did talk a lot about his dream of having a kid, another kid. He told me he would be loving and caring. He would give hugs and cook breakfast. He would sit and listen for hours on end about anything that his child wanted to talk about and he would always give his shoulder to cry on.” A tear ran down Morgan’s cheek at that. Peter chuckled at a memory, she looked up at him curiously. “ He did say once _Just imagine, Pete. A child with my brain and Pepper’s bossiness would just rule the world_ and I had laughed and told him that maybe she would come out with his snark and Pepper’s wit and he had stayed quiet for a minute then burst out laughing and had told me _Sure, I would love them all the same._ ”

“And you are that, Morgan. I know you barely remember him but he was such a good dad. To me and to you. He loved you more than anything before he even met you and he would have done anything to be here now. And he is not, and that really really sucks. But we have each other. I have my memories of him that belong to you too now. So anything you want to know, anything you feel like asking, just ask. I’ll do my better to answer”.

“And what about you?” Morgan asked quietly, standing up and sitting next to him at the foot of her bed.

“What about me?” He asked curiously. Putting his arm around her shoulders.   
“You said we have each other.” Morgan started quietly, like she was trying really hard to make a good point. “And you will share with me all your memories of him. But I don't have anything of his to give to you”.

Peter held her tightly, heard her sniffle and couldn't help but hold her at arms distance, to make sure she was looking him in the eye.

“Morgan you give me a little bit of Tony every second I spend with you.” She smiled and watched him with her big brown eyes. With Tony’s big brown eyes. “ Sometimes I look in your eyes and all I see is him. Or I turn around and you say something and I could swear it is Tony speaking. You have so much of him in you, there is no greater privilege for me than to get to stay by your side.”

Morgan hugged him tightly. And they stayed like that for a while. Peter was exhausted. He hadn't thought so much about Tony in a really long time. But it had been worth it.

“So, young lady, don’t you have a paper to write now that your research is done?” He asked breaking away from the hug. Trying to change the atmosphere of the room.   
“Yeah, but I think I'm going to write it on Iron Man” She said with a glint in her eyes.

“Why’s that?” He asked softly, as he placed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“I just think people deserve to know Iron Man, the legend. But I think I would rather we keep the dad behind the armor just between us”

And Peter could only smile as he felt his chest swell with pride. Pride for how much this little girl had grown. For how she already understood more about the world than he ever would. And proud to share a secret, a story and a father with someone as amazing as Morgan Stark.


	4. 10 years gone

The ten year anniversary of Tony Stark’s death was coming up. The world knew, events were being organized, ceremonies were going to be held; the world was trying to commemorate the sacrifice that Iron Man had made, ten years ago. The sacrifice that allowed them all to carry on as if nothing happened.

Peter couldn't. He knew the anniversary was coming up, and yet he was making no preparations. Because he didn't need to remember Iron Man or the sacrifice that he made, he remembered Tony Stark everyday. And, sure, on the actual day he would maybe think about him a little more; the first few years he had spent the day sitting by the lake in the Stark household, trying to understand what Tony had done, imagining what his life would be like if he hadn’t done it.

And the years went by and he grew, he started spending that day in the lab. He would work on his Spiderman suit, make up new protocols and name them after things that he thought Tony would have found funny. Sometimes he would walk by his memorial in Manhattan, mostly the day after, just to see the flowers that people had left, to take the letters and drawings home; to show Morgan that the world still remembered her father.

 

But mostly Peter thought about Tony in between. His life was now measured by the time that passed between two anniversaries. Measured by all the things that he went through that he would have liked to tell Tony about.

It was during year 3 that he had gotten into MIT and he had celebrated with his family but he had gone through the lab as well, had told Dum-E who had beeped in what Peter hoped was a proud expression. During year 5 May and Happy had gotten engaged, Peter was thrilled although he tried to hide it from both of them. He spent the day looking at pictures of Pepper and Tony’s wedding, thankful that he would get to be a part of this one. And it was during year 6 that he had gotten the guts to ask MJ out with the help of Morgan and Happy. And he only had to wait until year 7 for her to bring up the idea of marriage.

They had gotten married during the 8th year. And Peter doesn't think that there has been a single day when he missed Tony more. He stood there with Ned by his side as MJ walked down the aisle. He had chuckled when Morgan delivered the rings (they didn't know anyone younger) and he had choked up when she had hugged MJ after the ceremony and welcomed her to the family.

He felt a knot in his throat when Pepper approached him with a watery smile and hugged him while whispering _“He would be so proud, Pete”._ And a few tears rolled down his cheek when Rhodey had told him, after a heated debate with MJ on wether or not the military was a necessary evil, that “God, Tony would have loved her”.

And now here he was, reaching the end of year 9. With a wife by his side and a baby on the way. _A boy_ , MJ had said. And Peter couldn't be happier. He was ecstatic, but he was also so very nervous. And so he could hardly sleep, and when he couldn't sleep there was only one thing left to do.

Peter put on his suit, kissed a sleeping MJ on her forehead and left. Swinging through Queens was so liberating. And even though it was 3 am on a Friday night, it was still NYC. So he got to stop a few robberies, he walked a few girls home and made sure some others got in safely from a distance. He stopped a mugging and got a few selfies with some loyal drunken Spiderman fans. But he was still excited, he still had a million things going through his head. So he found a nice rooftop, with a good view of The City. And he sat there. He talked to Karen, checked that all her basic functions where working properly. He thought about his life, about his job at Stark Industries, about the presentation he had on Monday. And he thought about the future, about his son and MJ. About what Tony would say if he knew that he was having a child. He wondered if wherever he was, he could feel it. And he would have stayed there; mask off, staring deep into the night, but his phone started ringing.

It was Morgan. Peter’s heartbeat quickened and he inmediatly picked up. “Hello?” He knew he sounded panicked, he didn't really care. “Morgan? Are you there?”.

“Um, hello” That wasn't Morgan. Why was someone calling from Morgan’s phone? At 4 in the morning. “This is Sasha. I'm Morgan’s friend, she told me to call you.” Okay, a friend. Peter could work with that. Except, Sasha sounded panicked herself. And Peter’s spider- hearing could pick up dry heaving and crying in the back.

“What’s going on? Is Morgan okay? Where are you?” He asked every question at once and he still felt like he needed to ask more. Before he could do, Sasha spoke back.

“We are at a party in the city... Lexington and 87th. Some senior invited us to his birthday” Peter swore under his breath. “Morgan had a lot to drink, she is not feeling well. She told me you lived nearby and would pick her up.”

“Yeah yeah, I'm on my way.” Peter had started swinging in that direction the minute he got an address. “Give her water if you can but don't leave her alone.” He thought back to how much he would have wanted someone to tell him he was doing the right thing if it was him. Someone to assure him that he was not betraying a friend. “You did well, Sasha. Thanks for calling me” And he ended the call.

 

It took Peter less than 10 minutes to get to the building’s rooftop. And he thanked every god there was that he was wearing civilian clothing underneath the suit. He followed the sound of the music and found the apartment.

It was full of people. Of kids. They were all drinking alcohol and Peter didn't need enhanced senses to smell the weed. He looked around and tried to find a face he recognized from Morgan’s class. He couldn't. They all seemed to be older, all seniors. And too many of them were men, in his opinion. He grew more worried, he didn't need to be a genius to know what seniors wanted with drunk and defenseless freshmen that they invited to their parties. He asked around for the bathroom and quickly found the door.

 

Through the door he could pick up hushed voices. “Your brother is coming Morgan, don’t worry. Just breathe”. He entered and shut the door behind him. The sight in front of him broke his heart. Morgan was kneeling before the toilet, makeup running down her face. She was wearing an outfit that Peter hesitated to call actual clothes. Sasha was sitting behind her, one hand rubbing up and down her back and the other holding up her hair. She reminded him of Ned.

They both noticed him and Sasha helped Morgan stand up. The minute she was standing she slumped against him and started muttering into his neck “I’m not feeling well, Pete. I want to go”. The smell of the alcohol on her almost made him vomit. He quickly took off his hoodie and put it on Morgan. He asked Sasha if she had a ride home and when she said yes, he picked Morgan up and quickly left the scene.

He managed to get them inside a cab without much trouble. He knew he would have to talk to Morgan in the morning. He would have to let Pepper know what had happened. He didn't even know where she thought Morgan was. But all of that was less important than helping his sister right now. So he kept rubbing her back and softly asked “Upstate or Queens?”. Morgan quickly replied: queens it was.

 

The cab ride was relatively quick. There weren't many people at 5 am in the streets. Peter carried a sleeping Morgan up into his apartment. He took her to the guest room and woke her up. Helped her brush her teeth and gave her one of his science pun shirts to sleep in. Kissed her on the forehead and said goodnight. Before he went to bed he shot Pepper a quick text.

“Morgan is sleeping over. Just picked her up from a party. Call you in the morning with more details. Xo”

 

He woke up not even two hours later with MJ’s alarm. He stayed in bed while she got dressed and then, as she kissed him goodbye and left for work he got up and got started on breakfast. Pancakes and scrambled eggs: Morgan’s favorite.

He could only enjoy the quiet for 15 minutes before his phone was ringing and he found himself retelling what had happened the night before to a very angry and very grateful Pepper. And just as he was hanging up,another 20 minutes later, he heard soft footsteps behind him. He turned around and found Morgan, looking much better than the night before. Her face was clean, her hair was up in a neat bun and she was wearing one of Peter’s old hoodies, that had actually been Tony’s.

“Was that mom?” She asked hoarsely as she approached the kitchen and sat on the island in front of Peter. He nodded. “ Is she mad at me?”

“Well, she is not thrilled” Peter put the breakfast plate in front of her, along with a glass of O.J and an aspirin. “She said something about you being grounded forever I believe.”

“Of course she did” Morgan mumbled under her breath. Peter’s head snapped towards her. He had planned to be understanding. Even forgiving and kind. Had thought of a long speech about why drinking at 15 should not be a thing. About why it messed up her brain and how she should know better. But in came Morgan with the _audacity_ to be angry. Angry at the consequences of her actions. And Peter’s plan went out the door.

“What did you say?” The bite in his words did not go unnoticed and neither did the stink eye he received from his sister. Or the way she held his gaze as she answered.

“I said: Of course she did” she punctuated every word. As if she was talking to a child. “She can’t be bothered to ask me about why I would do something like that. Or even let me explain myself.” Morgan was gesticulating wildly and Peter knew that this was the anger speaking. That she didn't really mean it. He did. But nothing could prepare him for what she said next. “My dad is better at parenting than she is. And he is fucking dead.”

It felt like someone slapped him across the face. He couldn't believe her right now. He tried to play the understanding part, the incredulous part. And now he had to play the angry big brother part. And he felt ready. Not because he liked it, but because he couldn't believe the venom, the hatred behind Morgan’s words.

“Listen here Morgan” she immediately looked up to him, probably thinking that she had never seen him so angry. “Your mother is grounding you because what you did was fucking stupid. Going into what is practically a frat party alone. With only one friend. And not only that but getting drunk enough that you couldn't even stand up?” Peter was livid. He wasn't necessarily screaming. But he was definitely ranting. “That is the most stupid and groundable thing you have ever done. Pepper is a great mother. She has been raising you all this time by herself. While running one of the world’s biggest companies.” Morgan opened her mouth to speak but Peter put a hand up to stop her. “Nuh-uh. The adult is talking” _God, he couldn't sound more like Tony if he tried_.

And on that subject... “You wanna know what your dad would say if he was parenting you right now? Let me tell you what he would say. He would tell you that he expected more of you. That you were making stupid ass decisions and that he would not stand by and let you destroy yourself. If you caught him on a good day, _maybe_ he would consider not calling every single one of the seniors to tell them to never speak to you again. And only _then_ would he ground you.” Morgan wasn't even looking at Peter now. And he knew he was being tough, but he also understood that this was something Morgan needed to hear. “And you know what? Pepper would be the one calming him down. Telling him that it was a small mistake, that you wouldn't do it again.” Peter started to calm down. He sat next to Morgan and made her look at him.

“But your mom can't do that. She doesn't have that luxury anymore, just as you don't have the honor of seeing Tony Stark destroy every single senior that attended that party. Pepper has to be the one to put her foot down. That doesn't mean she loves you any less, or is a worse parent. If anything it means she loves you enough to help you become the best version of yourself that you can be.”

Morgan nodded. She understood, Peter knew she would, she is the smartest person he knows. She didn't look like she wanted to talk. But Peter knew her better than himself, knew that she wouldn't just go to a party and get drunk in the way most teenagers would. He knew there was a reason.

“Okay so I played the bad cop, now it’s back to good old Pete” Morgan chuckled, “Wanna tell me what happened last night?”

“You know what happened last night, you were there” Morgan mumbled with a shrug of her shoulders.   
“Mor, C’mon.” He bumped his own shoulder against hers. “You can tell me anything. No judgement”

Morgan sighed deeply, put her head in her hands. Hiding away in embarrassment and started, “This senior, Matt. Invited me and Sasha to his birthday party. Said he wanted to know if Starks could really party as much as dad had.” Peter felt anger building up inside him. Anger at someone using Morgan for her last name, at someone disrespecting Tony’s memory.

“Why would you go?” He asked genuinely curious. Morgan had never cared about what outsiders said about his dad. She always said you could be a saint and they would still criticize you for forgetting to say thank you. And he definitely knew she didn't care enough to do all of this because a guy was cute.

“I just, I don't know anything about my dad” Peter wanted to protest. “I know you told me, and I remember that as if I had lived it. But the truth is, I didn't. It’s been almost ten years since dad died and I miss him everyday. And you and mom and Happy you all say that I am so much like him. And I don't see it, because I don't know enough to know which of the things I do are me and which are more like him. So when Matt said that my father had loved parties...”

“You thought you would feel closer to him if you got black-out drunk?” He finished for her. The ideas finally falling into place.

“Well, no. I just thought if I went and I enjoyed it, then I would know that it was something I shared with dad. Getting drunk just sort of happened. A group of seniors invited me to play beer pong with them and I was too shy to say no.”

Peter understood that feeling, had been on the receiving end many times before. He put his arm around his sister and kissed the side of her head.

“I’m sorry for worrying you Pete. I was just trying to find it. To find the thing that me and my dad share. You are good with science like he was, you know? And you are also a super hero. All I have is some of his genes, maybe his eyes. And the occasional snarky comment. It’s been ten years. That’s not enough anymore.” She finished softly. Peter sighed, he didn't know what to say.

“Well, I think you have more in you from your dad than the occasional snarky comment. But I think that’s not really what matters. You should try to be you, Mor. And whatever you do, I'm sure your dad’s influence will be behind it. But even then. He would be proud all the same.” He could feel Morgan slumping against him. Knew that he was right but it was not the answer she had wanted. “Though if you really want to know something that you and your dad share...” He felt Morgan sitting up straighter, paying more attention. “I don't know anyone but you two who could make Pepper so mad.” Morgan laughed softly. “Definitely no one but a Stark would do something as stupid as what you did last night, only that your dad did it at his own birthday party. I think he even peed inside one of his suits.” Morgan was full-on laughing now.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes and then, “Okay, mini Stark, time to get dressed. You have to go face Pepper.” They both stood up.

“I’m dead meat.” Morgan said as she walked towards the guest room. But before she could turn the corner she looked over her shoulder and said, “Hey, Pete, will you be there with me?”

And Peter could swear that as he answered, it was not only his voice that talked back. But another one deeper and more distant. Definitely more comforting. “Every step of the way.”


	5. Names and gifts

Christmas was coming up. It’s spirit present in the Parker household. MJ had wanted to avoid the consumerist tendencies of the holiday so the whole family had agreed to only exchange sentimental gifts. Their apartment had a beautiful recycled tree in the living room decorated with many hand made ornaments. They had been hand painted by Morgan one night with the help of 3 year old Ben as she babysat him.

Peter walked around his apartment and all he saw was family. He saw it in the tree and its decorations, in the drawings that were stuck to the side of the fridge. He saw it on the many pictures that were hung up on their wall. Pictures of Peter and MJ on their wedding day. Of Happy, Peter and May on their own. There were pictures of Peter holding Ben after he was born and of Morgan holding him a few days later. And then, Peter’s favorite. It had been a birthday gift from his little sister, a collage of every single picture Peter had with Tony; in the lab, newspaper clips of Iron Man and Spiderman, Tony holding his internship certificate and so many more.

The thing was, that Morgan had a talent for giving presents. She was the best. She didn't need to spend a single cent and could find exactly what you wanted to receive, even if you didn't know what that was. And Peter, sadly, did not have the same quality. So when he got Morgan on the family’s own secret Santa, he hadn't known what to do. And the thought kept him up at night.

 

That wasn't the only thing keeping Peter up at night. MJ and him had been expecting, for the past 8 months. _Another boy_ , the doctor had said. Peter had been so happy, a little brother for Ben to play with. But then they had found themselves laying in bed, talking about possible names. MJ was giving serious suggestions and Peter was merely humming along because he already knew exactly what he wanted to name this child, he also knew he couldn't. But MJ knew him well, had known him now for over 15 years, so she nonchalantly looked up at him and opened her mouth,

“What about Tony?” She said knowingly, and their hearts were so synchronized at this point that there was no way she hadn't felt how his sped up. “Or, well, Anthony.”

Peter sighed. “I can't do that MJ, that's for Morgan to do” And he knew that that was the right answer. Tony hadn't been his dad, as much as it felt like he had. They had shared a handful of years but no genes, no name. Morgan on the other hand, only had her father’s genes and name. If she ever wanted to name her child after him then it was her right. MJ understood, she knew it pained Peter to accept, but she also knew better than to press him on it. So she moved on, to new names, to new ideas. Peter stayed behind. Tony Parker. Anthony Parker. It just felt right.

 

They had been doing their Christmas Eve dinners at the Stark residence for a few years now. Peter loved it, spending a night surrounded by the people he loved most; May and Happy, Pepper and Morgan, MJ and Ben. They talked, they shared stories and they exchanged gifts. Peter had finally found after days drowning in thoughts, an idea for Morgan’s present. Now the only reason why there was a knot in his stomach was how she would like it. If at all.

Peter pulled up to the cabin and stopped the car. He grabbed the casserole they had brought as MJ woke Ben up. He watched as Pepper opened the door and Ben ran inside, straight past her and asking for Morgan. He helped MJ up the stairs and kissed Pepper on the cheek.

“Hey, Pep. Are we the first to arrive?” He asked as he stepped inside, going straight to the kitchen and putting the casserole in the oven.

“Happy and May are almost here, I just got off the phone with her. We are waiting on one more guest and then we’ll start” Pepper answered swiftly while she caressed MJ’s belly. “Have you chosen a name yet?”

MJ and Peter looked quickly to each other. Talk about touching a sensitive subject. “Um,no. Not yet” MJ replied quickly, swiftly changing the subject.

Both women started talking about motherhood, something about breastfeeding tips that Peter really didn’t think he wanted to hear, so he quietly made his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Finding Morgan’s room quickly, he heard his son’s laughter through the door and stayed put for a second.

“So what did you ask Santa for, Benny?” Morgan seemed to be asking, he could hear the croaking of the mattress, knew that they were surely jumping up and down.

“Santa isn’t real, Morgan.” Ben answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world “He was invented by men who want to take my parents money.” Peter couldn’t help but giggle. He didn’t expect anything less from MJ’s son. But, alas, he was also his dad so he wasn’t surprised when he continued, “I asked for a new set of Legos anyway”.

He opened the door just in time to see Morgan laughing and putting Ben down on the floor. He almost caught them red handed. “Are you gonna say hello to your brother or is that not cool anymore?” Morgan turned around quickly. Her face lit up as she saw Peter and she quickly approached him and gave him a hug.

“It was never cool. But I’ll do it anyway” She answered into his shoulder. “Um, Benny, would you mind going downstairs and asking my mom if our guest arrived yet?” She adressed Ben, clearly wanting to be left alone with Peter.

“Mmm Okay” Ben replied quickly and left skipping down the stairs.

Peter looked at Morgan worriedly. “Everything okay?” He asked as he placed his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. Searching for anything that might be off.

“Yeah yeah” She answered quickly “I’m just nervous.”

“Nervous? Why?” He asked curiously

“Did my mom tell you who our guest was?” She asked sheepishly, avoiding his gaze. He could feel the tension and wanted to ease his sister.

“Oh my god if you invited Thor to have dinner with us I will lose it” He dramatically responded “Do asgardians even celebrate Christmas?”

“Pete.” She cut him off tiredly. “You’re right Morgan. I don’t think they do” Peter continued as if he hadn’t heard her. He kept on rambling, it was a talent. Until Morgan cut him off.

“My boyfriend is coming to dinner tonight” Peter’s heart stopped beating. He needed air.

“Your what?” He asked, he didn’t mean for it to sound as rude as it did so he quickly overcompensated. “That’s um- that’s great. My girlfriend came too…I mean, my wife. But you know her already. MJ? Ben’s mom” He was spiraling.

“Peter,” she held him by his shoulders, “Breathe” he started to calm down so he explained. “He is jewish so he doesn’t celebrate Christmas. And I thought this might be a good chance for him to meet the family. To meet you” she finished with a sigh, he could tell she was nervous.

“That’s really great Morgan. I’ll be on my best behavior.” And just in that moment, they heard Pepper’s voice coming from down stairs. “Morgan! Max is here”. And so it began.

 

Max was nice. He was charming and easy to talk too. Peter and him had a lot in common and Morgan seemed to be more relaxed now that dinner had started. There were several conversations going on at once, May was asking Ben about daycare and MJ was helping him with his answers and meal as Pepper dutifully watched on. She was asking Happy questions about Stark Industries but he was only half- listening, choosing to glare at Morgan’s boyfriend through the entire dinner. Peter was sitting by Morgan’s side and he kept asking Max questions. He liked science and Star Wars. And had recently been thinking about applying to MIT. Needless to say, Peter approved.

 

Dinner moved quickly and before Peter knew it they were sitting in the living room exchanging the secret santa gifts. The way they did it, was so that they all knew who had given each present to whom, they just liked to see everyone’s reaction. Pepper was in charge and she started by giving May her gift; a framed picture of Happy, MJ, Peter, Ben and herself. May had been so grateful. She had gone on to give her gift to Happy of all people, gave him tickets to a Mets game so that he could take little Ben to his first game. Happy had gotten Peter. He grabbed a small box and quickly delivered it, Peter took off the wrapping paper and found one of the nicest and weirdest gifts he had ever received; it was an album with all the schematics and plans Tony had made when making all of his suits, all of the things he had never gotten around to creating, and all the information he had gathered that had led them to meet. On the front of the book was a small engraved spider and, inside, what seemed to be different quotes that sounded like Tony. “This are all different things that he told me about you, different thoughts he had” Peter had let a few tears dropped and hugged Happy. He pretended to not enjoy the hug but, who was he kidding? They loved each other.

Peter knew it was his turn but he asked if he could go last, so Morgan volunteered to continue, she had gotten Ben. She gave her something that Peter knew he would love, it was a superhero coloring book; with Spiderman, Iron Man and all of the other avengers as well as a few blank pages to “design your own superhero suit”. Ben had been so excited. He moved on to give MJ his gift, a macaroni frame with a picture of the both of them and Peter standing by the ocean. MJ hugged him. She got up and approached Pepper , gave her a book on called “The inner workings of a boss’ mind”, she loved it.

Max understood that he wasn’t getting a gift, mainly because they didn’t know he was coming. Happy had told him that it was a right reserved for those who had spent at least a year in the family. He had laughed but Happy had kept a straight face. Peter got up and called everyone’s attention.

“Well, it’s my turn.” He started nervously, trying to keep his voice from trembling. “I got Morgan, clearly” He gestured to everyone else having a gift. “And this particular present is not just from me, which is a little bit like cheating, it is also from MJ” He pointed her out and everyone chuckled, found it funny that Peter was nervous enough to forget that they knew who MJ was.

“Morgan, I love you” Morgan nodded, smiling widely. “You are my little sister and I never want you to not be in my life. I know I missed the first five years of your life, and I regret that every day.” Everyone was quiet, staring with attention. “There is a question that I want to ask you, something to task you with.” He was getting more and more nervous. “As you all know me and MJ are expecting a baby boy, sometime next month.” They all nodded, Morgan’s eyes were glistening “You have proven to be one of the best babysitters in the world, if Ben’s reviews are anything to go by,” He chuckled, Ben gave Morgan his attempt at a wink, “And I have watched you grow into such a smart, kind and funny woman that when we found out we were having this baby, there was no doubt-“ he took a deep breath, approached Morgan to her seat on the couch and kneeled so he could look her in the eye, “Morgan, would you be our son’s godmother?” And he didn’t hear a response because she immediately jumped on him. Hugged him tighter than ever and everyone else started clapping. May and Pepper were crying, MJ was taking pictures and Ben was cheering, trying to get in on the fun. Everything was great.

 

They stayed at the house for a few more hours. Ben had fallen asleep on the couch 20 minutes ago and they were about to start heading home. May and Happy had left, May was on-call the next morning and MJ and Pepper were softly talking as MJ ran her hand through Ben’s hair. Morgan and Max had gone upstairs to her room an hour ago, Peter didn’t want to admit that he was a bit uneasy. He checked his watch and got up.

“Babe, I’ll say goodbye to Morgan and then we can leave,” he started heading for the stairs, “it’s getting late”.

MJ whispered “sure” as Pepper called after him, “Make sure you knock before you enter”, he heard laughing and cringed at the thought.

He got to Morgan’s room and knocked, opened it when he heard them saying so. He was not stupid, had been 18 once. He could tell exactly what had been going on. They were both standing by the bed. Peter swallowed.

“Um, we are leaving” he said hesitantly, “just wanted to say goodbye”.

“Sure, man” Max told him, approaching him and patting him on the back, “I’m going to the bathroom, see you soon” and he left.

He looked at Morgan. He had never seen her blushing so much. He decided straight forward was the way to go.

“Are you being safe?” He asked, never one to avoid subjects with her. She immediately looked at him, blushed deeper and looked back at her feet. She nodded slowly all the same. He sighed “Okay, good. He seems nice.” He sat on a small couch she had by her window, she joined him.

“He is” Morgan answered confidently, “I really love him”. Peter smiled, just as he was about to leave Morgan spoke.

“So, do you have a name for my nephew/godson yet?” He was sure she didn’t know. Couldn’t know the battle that Peter was fighting in his mind. He swallowed hard.

“Um, no.” his voice broke, his hesitation evident. “When we do, you’ll be the first to know”.

She stared at him for a second too long. Her face morphed into an expression that Peter knew she had when she realized something.

“What about Tony?” his head snapped towards her, his eyes left hers immediately after.

“I don’t think so” he replied looking down, not wanting her to see the sadness in his eyes.

“Why not?” She seemed to be genuinely curious, as if the thought of Tony being _her_ father hadn’t crossed her mind. “Tony Parker sounds great. A bit pretentious maybe, but great”.

He laughed softly. “I think I’ll leave Tony to you.” He looked at her now, she raised her eyebrows, “he was your father, that name is yours to pass on”.

“Okay…” she was slowly piecing things together, “I pass it on to you then”.

“What?” Peter didn’t understand, didn’t want to get his hopes up.

“I give the name to you, I don’t want it” she stated it clearly and simply. Peter was sure he was missing something.

“Why?” He questioned slowly, “Don’t you want to have the chance of using the name?”

“Maybe, but you are older. You beat me to it I guess, had a child first.” She shrugged her shoulders, “It’s only fair you name him what you want.”

“Tony was not my dad, Richard was” he explained patiently, he knew she understood that.

“Well, yeah. But you were Tony’s kid too. And you are not naming my godson Richard.” She told him surely, “No offense, but that’s an old person’s name”. Peter laughed, he hadn’t realized that he had started to cry. “Pete, dad would have loved for you to name a child after him. And I love my dad, but I barely knew him. Naming my child after him would feel like placing a burden on my son, because I would never see anything but a child, I wouldn’t be honoring my dad, I would be turning his name into just another name” Peter thought he understood what she was saying, “But in the same way that you see Tony every time you look at me, you are the closest thing to him that I have. And I love your kids in the same way that you love me. Having a godson named after my dad would keep him alive, would allow you to honor a man that you loved, but most importantly, it would help me find meaning in the name again.” She sighed, tears running down her own cheek. “So yeah, I pass the name on to you. You better not waste it.”

He hugged her tightly, said goodbye and left. And all the way home he couldn’t help but keep thinking. Tony Stark had become the luckiest man in the world by getting a daughter like Morgan Stark. And Tony Parker would be just as lucky, having her in his life.


	6. As we stand together

Being an adult was hard. Harder than Peter had thought it would be anyway. It might be because May made it her life’s mission to yield him from the hardships she had to face while he was growing up; he wasn't overly aware of the fact that they had financial issues or that May worked twice as much as Ned’s mom did. And it also maybe had to do with the fact that his role model was a superhero and billionaire who seemed to be able to avoid his responsibilities without much consequence. Peter had been in the lab countless times and heard Tony tell Pepper to handle a meeting for him, and there had only been a handful of occasions where Tony had to cancel on him because he was busy. 

So when Pepper decided that being the CEO of Stark Industries was too much stress, Peter thought that, at 33, he was ready to step in. At least until Morgan was old enough to manage it by his side. But, as it turns out, running Stark Industries was a lot harder than it looked. Peter had to deal with the press all day long, he had countless meeting with the board who constantly undermined him and treated him like a child, he had also previously occupied the position of Head of the Developing department so he had to stay on top of all the inventions Stark Industries was planning and, on top of that, he got home every night to find a his two sons who at 7 and 4 seemed to never run out of energy and always wanted to play. At least for a little while because Peter had to leave eventually, had to put on a suit and go out on patrol. And he would come back, exhausted from the day and stressed about the next one, to find MJ asleep. He would kiss her forehead and go to sleep himself.

On the off chance that he found her awake, they would fight. They would argue about Peter not making enough time for his family or about him risking his life as Spider-man. They would argue about Stark Industries and how it had already forced them to leave Queens in favor of a relocation upstate and how, according to MJ, Peter was turning into Tony Stark. “Is that such a bad thing?” Peter had asked quietly when MJ had suggested it. “I don’t know, Peter.” MJ had sighed and rubbed her head, “I just know that he overworked himself into an early grave, left a wife and two children behind to deal with the consequences. I don't want that to happen to us”.

And that had been that, two weeks ago. Peter still hadn’t talked to MJ. He would go home every afternoon to spend time with the kids, they would ask why he left and didn’t come back, why he wasn’t there when they had breakfast. And he just stood silent, said he was very very busy but he loved them very much. But, still, he would leave when MJ got home from work with a whispered “bye” as he closed the door. And he would patrol and sleep at Ned’s house. Hang out with his goddaughter and Betty. Ned said he could stay for as long as he wanted, but he needed to talk to MJ, sort this out. And he knew, he just didn't know how to fix it.

  
He stopped going to dinner with the Starks for the past two weeks, he still had lunch with Pepper on Wednesdays, she was officially retired but was still mentoring Peter when it came to running the company, but he didn't talk about his wife, he mentioned the kids; showed Pepper pictures of Ben’s science project, a clean energy lamp who got its power from garbage he found laying around the house. And he showed her pictures of Tony, of him with a face full of chocolate cake and of him wearing his very own Spiderman costume. And Pepper didn’t press further, didn’t ask why he had already cancelled twice on family dinner, why he looked like he hadn't been sleeping well or why he seemed to choke up everytime she seemed like she was about to talk about MJ.

Still, Peter didn’t go to dinner with the Starks, because he couldn't face Morgan. He knew the minute they saw each other, she would know something was wrong. She was a Stark like that, “great power of deduction and can read Peter Parker like an open book”, it should be their family motto. So he avoided her, didn't FaceTime her, only texted her to send her new pictures of her nephews, her godson. But nothing further. And he missed her like crazy. He seemed to be missing everyone these days. He missed Morgan and he missed Pepper every Friday night. He missed his kids and seeing them wake up in the morning; Ben with his neatly put on uniform, so much like Peter and Tony with a crooked tie and not a single care in the world, all MJ. And he really missed May, she was on a trip around the world with Happy right now, something about celebrating a wedding anniversary. Deep down, now and always, he missed Tony. He knew that he would know what to say, he would tell him to _get your shit together, Pete._ Would probably tell him _take it from a guy with a magnet for a heart, family comes first._ And most of all he missed MJ. So much. He knew she was right to be upset, he had been spending so much time away from home and had been missing her long before their fight. But he was still an awkward teenager when it came to fixing his mistakes. And he wanted to apologize but he couldn't do anything to change the situation, so he chose to stay quiet, wait out the storm.

 

He was in his office, reading over the lab reports he had received that morning when a call came through automatically, without warning. Just like that, Morgan Stark was invading his personal space.

  
“You know, the first few times I went by your house to see your kids and you weren’t there I just thought, _Huh, there must be a new bad guy in town. Spidey’s busy_.” Peter closed his eyes and sighed, thankful she couldn't see him. “And then, little Tony just goes ahead and spits out the truth. You wanna know what he said, Pete?”

  
“I have a feeling you’ll tell me wether I want to or not” Peter answered, resignation filling his voice.

“You’re damn right I will” Peter could tell Morgan was somewhat angry, maybe slightly disappointed. “He said, _Daddy is having a sleepover with Ned because he doesn’t love Mommy anymore._ ”

Peter felt his heart break, he knew that those weren’t MJ’swords, she wouldn't betray Peter like that. He knew that was their kids’ understanding of the situation. Realized at once that it was what Ben had probably told Tony when he asked.

“And I thought, _Well, I always suspected that Peter might have feelings for Ned_ ” Morgan continued sarcastically “ _But he wouldn’t leave MJ, the best thing that ever happened to him, and not tell me,_ am I wrong?”

“Morgan, I don’t know what to tell you,” Peter started, feeling like his life was falling apart.

“How about the truth?” She answered firmly. “I’ll meet you in the lobby of Stark Industries in 20 minutes, let’s go have lunch”. And just like that she hung up.

Peter was in for one hell of a meal.

 

They were sitting in a fancy restaurant near Peter’s office. It had been Tony’s favourite when he was alive, had invited Peter to eat there with him countless times. Sitting in this exact table, with a very different Stark across from him, he had received lectures when he messed up as Spiderman and when he stopped caring about his schoolwork; advice when he had had a fight with Ned or the occasional disagreement with May. And he had had the pleasure of hearing some of Tony’s best stories; about his first invention and the time he met Captain America, about his aunt Peggy and the moment he knew he wanted to marry Pepper. And now, here he sat, playing with his salad as he felt Morgan’s eyes on him. The silence was heavy, never awkward, just tense. He knew it wouldn’t last much longer.

 

“Pete, are you going to say anything?” There it broke. Peter sighed, looked up at Morgan and he felt his throat tighten up, he couldn’t do this.

“I just- I can’t” he tried, really. But he truly couldn’t put it into words, telling Morgan would only make it more real; Spiderman, New York’s very own hero, could take down bad guys all day long but couldn’t save his own marriage.

“Are you getting a divorce?” Morgan asked slowly, sounding both like she was afraid of the answer and scared of breaking Peter.

“I don’t know” he answered honestly. Were they? He supposed not speaking for two weeks wasn’t a good sign. “We haven’t talked about it. Haven’t talked at all really”

“For how long?” Morgan asked with a sigh

“It will be three weeks this Thursday”

“What happened?” She asked, pity showing in her voice, “This isn’t like you. You love each other”.

“Of course we do,” Peter answered defensively, realizing quickly that he wasn’t under attack “I love MJ more than anything. But I just, I’ve been busy lately. With the company and Spiderman. And we just kept fighting more and more, until one day she just-“ and he realized he couldn’t say it , couldn’t tell Morgan. It would hurt too much.

“She what?” Morgan begged, taking a hold of Peter’s hand. Peter took a deep breath.

“Said I was turning into Tony Stark. Said he had overworked himself into an early grave and left us to deal with the consequences.” Saying it lifted a weight off his chest, but another one quickly set in as he awaited Morgan’s response.

“Well, she’s not wrong” she said slowly, like she was quickly realizing it herself.

“What? Morgan of course that’s not true” he looked up at her, wanting her to understand. “ Your dad didn’t overwork himself into an early grave, he made a huge sacrifice to save all of us. He would love to be here right now, but if he hadn’t done what he did then none of us would get to enjoy our lives”.

“I know, he was a hero. But that was still his _job_ , Pete.” Morgan squeezed his hand, trying to get him to look her in the eye. He did. “ And he loved us both so much and would’ve wanted us to make use of what his death gave us. MJ is worried about you, she loves you and she misses you. So stop being an idiot and talk to her. Be with her.”

He knew she was right, of course she was. But he was still a realist, he was still CEO of a multimillion dollar company, he was still a superhero so he didn’t have any time to spare.

“ I want to be with MJ, I want to be with Ben and little Tony and make your father proud.” He started, putting emphasis in every word “ But I just don’t have the time. I’m so tired, all the time. And I don’t want to let anyone down.”

“You won’t let anyone down by asking for help.” She said softly, with a softens he only heard when she was telling his kids stories. “ I am already old enough to step in a few days a week. At least on the administrative side of things, see how our family business is handled. And I think New York can handle not having you swinging about for one night a week, so you can have a proper date night. I’m happy to babysit.” Peter looked at her with such gratitude, a huge weight lifted of his shoulders as he whispered a heartfelt “thank you” and kissed her hand.

“ Oh no problem,” she dismissed him “ I’m doing it more for me than you really, turns out Ben is a great wedding planner” she added casually, turning her attention back to her food and leaving Peter staring at her with wonder in his eyes.

“ What?” He asked incredulously, “ what are you saying?”

“ Oh, didn’t I tell you?” She feigned innocence, “ Max and I are getting married next spring. Thought you knew”

And Peter started laughing, maybe it was due to exhaustion, or just surprise. Maybe it was because he was so freaking happy for his little sister. And when he stopped laughing he just got up from his chair and gave her a huge hug. Asked her to tell him everything. Who had proposed? How was the planning? Did Pepper know? Did Happy? When did she get engaged and did she have a maid of honor?

Morgan answered everyone of his questions with a smile on her face and as she did, the tables in the restaurants cleared, people left and new people came inside. Some of them threw them curious looks, it was a fancy restaurant but people still stared at them when they were out together. “The Stark Heirs” the media had dubbed them, they had found it funny and had thought about making t-shirts. Pepper wouldn’t let them and May said it was tacky. MJ still gave them each one for Christmas. And as time passed, Peter could sense Morgan getting nervous. He knew her well enough, better than himself, to know when something was bothering her.

“So, are you happy?” He asked honestly, trying to find if he could help with anything. And also, in a way, fulfilling her role as her older brother.

“So happy. Really” she answered with such confidence, Peter knew she was sure of what she was doing, she was a Stark after all. “I just, I need to ask you something. It’s okay if you say no” She added the last part quickly, and Peter knew this was what made her nervous. He nodded, urging her to continue “ I’ve been thinking a lot about this day, about who will be there with me,” Peter didn’t think she had ever spoken so slowly before “ and as we both know there is one person that I would love to have by my side, one person who is not able to,” Peter nodded, grabbed her hand in support. “ There have been so many moments in my life where I wanted dad to be there, wondered what he would say; would he have hugged me when I won first place in my debating competition? Would he have gotten along with Max right after meeting him? What would he have said when I first got drunk at a party?” Peter chuckled at the memory, time had made it funny. “ And I will never know, because as you said, he made a huge sacrifice so that I could enjoy all these moments by myself. The thing is, that I never had to,” She looked up at Peter, tears were glistening in her eyes, “ I never had to enjoy this moments by myself because I had a family; I had my mom and uncle Happy and Rhodey. And I always had you. Everytime that I would wonder what my father would have done, I just thought of you and what you did. And I know that you’ve tried to hide it, tried to make it pass as your own actions. But I’ve realized that there are so many things that you have done for me simply because you thought that that’s what he would have done if he were here.” Peter smiled at her, had always known she would realize eventually, “ You yelled at me in the most un-Peter way when I got drunk, and you asked Max all sorts of intimidating questions before accepting him, you were clapping louder than anyone else when I received my debating trophy, and now..” He felt tears cloud his own vision, felt a breath escape his lips, “ Now there is one more moment that I would like to have dad by my side. But he isn’t here, at least not physically. So I am asking you.” She took a deep breath, tears full of emotions running down her cheeks “Pete, would you walk me down the aisle?” And Peter could only get up once again, and hug his little sister. “ Of course, Mor. It would be my pleasure.”

 

And it would be. Peter had known Morgan since she was 5. They had met under the most terrible circumstances and even then, she had been a light in the darkness that surrounded Peter. He had been by her side ever since. After all, they both shared a pair of empty shoes. And at first it had been what kept them together, they would each try them on from time to time, walk in them for a bit when the other needed help. But they always felt too big, too uninviting. They always felt like they were someone else’s , and they were. So the years went by, and they each made their own footprint by the other’s side, their own shoe that can never be filled by another. And yet, here Morgan was, asking Peter to step once more into their dad’s shoes, and Peter did. Because it was Morgan who asked, so he complied. And he put them on, without taking off his own shoes first, and suddenly they fit so much better.

Because after all these years, Peter had finally understood that no one could ever fill the shoes that Tony Stark had left behind. No one else would ever be Tony Stark, no one could come close to the legend, to the father and mentor that he had become. But Peter was who he was because of who Tony had been and so was Morgan. So while no one could replicate the greatness that was Tony Stark, no one came closer, than Morgan and Peter when they stood together, side by side, a pair of big empty shoes right in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This marks the end of the first fic I've ever completed. I loved writing it and would love to write more so I will be taking prompts and ideas in the comments and on my tumblr ThoseIronDadfics. Please let me know your thoughts.


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